Monday, July 25, 2011

Winning entries from, "I turned on the light..."


I actually planned on posting all this on Saturday, but my blogging time got eaten up by this guy's party:



I'm pretty sure, however, the birthday festivities are officially over and life can go back to it's normal level of crazy.

Below are the winning entries from last round's prompt. DON'T FORGET YOUR ELEVATOR PITCHES ARE DUE TODAY. Click here for details.

By Ellyn Gibbs (First)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief. Philippe was not in bed. And there was a frightful caterwauling coming from outside the darkened window. I went to it and peered down. “Philippe! What are you thinking, you silly boy? Frenchmen don’t serenade their ladies!”
The caterwauling stopped. “I know, my own, but…”
“Besides!” I said. “We’re already married.”
“Yes, dearest, but it was the only thing I could think of to make you jump out the window.” His voice shook in urgency.
“Jump? Why on earth - ”
I saw Philippe’s face freeze, and at the same time, a smooth gun muzzle prodded my neck.
The judge says: Ooo! Very nice hook! Cute and funny, then gripping.

By Jordan Graham (First)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief. There he was. I had seen him before and was glad to see him. However, when he appeared, it was rarely a good sign. He extended his hand and, as it grasped mine, he whispered, “The Kingdom is under attack. His Majesty wishes you to join Him right away. Will you come?”

“Of course.” I nodded. I knew exactly what was fast approaching, for it had been foreseen long ago. Bursting through the window, he extended his long, feathered wings. The elation of flight almost chased away the looming knowledge of what was to come. I was soaring to war.

The judge says: Excellent! I wanted to get to know someone who would willingly hop out a window and fly off to war with a winged creature at a moment's notice.

By Katy McCurdy (First)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief. The bottle of wine looked out of place on my kitchen counter—I never bought wine anymore. Something wasn’t right.
Movement to my right caught my attention. I wasn’t alone. My pulse quickened.
“Hello, Courtney.”
Nerves on edge, I whirled toward the voice…and froze.
He was here. Gerald, my spurned lover and unforgiving tormentor. Slivers of fear pierced my chest. The witness protection program had promised safety…and yet, he had found me.
“The boss has another job for you.” He grinned in sick pleasure.
Panic clutched my heart as I found my voice. “No…I won’t kill for you again.”
The judge says: I really feel like I’m in the head of the main character and being pulled directly into an intriguing story. The writing flows so that you forget about it and focus on the story. Wonderful job.

By Jordan Newhouse (Two votes for second)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief. My brother had been gone for so long, and now here he was sitting on Mama's feed sack quilt!
"Rick! You're home!"
I climbed on the bed and wrapped my arms around him. Then I noticed his empty sleeve. I touched it and frowned.
"A Japanese bullet took it. It's lucky it wasn't just a few inches to the right." He traced his finger over to the place near his heart.
"God brought you home safe." I put the sleeve around my shoulders.
He stared at the hand he had left. "Why me and not Warren?”
The judges say: The historical writer in me jumped all over this one. The feed sack quilt got my attention right away as a great detail that set the scene beautifully./Great details. Very compelling.

By Clare Kolenda (Third)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief.
My brother, my twin, the other half of me that had disappeared nine years ago, stood in front of me.
My breath seemed to be caught in my chest, suffocating me. “Sam,”
His eyes were sunken in; it appeared life had not treated him well since he had left. He looked older than his twenty-four years. “Hi, Annie.”
My whole body trembled. “What are you doing here?”
His smile left his face, “I need help.”
Sam stepped back and revealed what was behind hm. A car seat; carrying a baby.

The judge says: Good start to a novel. Great job showing the story and setting the scene. Good balance of story elements.

By Adria Olson (Third)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief. After living in shadows and darkness for seventeen years, I could finally see. The operation worked. I looked around the hospital room at my family. They eagerly stared at me as if they were the ones seeing me for the first time. My mother has curly brown hair; my father has hazel eyes. "How many fingers am I holding up?," my sister asked. My eyes filled with tears, but I forced myself to blink them back: I didn’t want the tears to blur my first few moments of sight.

The judge says: What an intriguing opening. I immediately started wondering what that moment must've felt like, where she'd go from here, how the ability to see would change her...it would sure keep me turning pages to find out.

By Rye Mason (Third)

I turned on the light, then blinked in disbelief. Seven stuffed rabbits and a magician’s hat dangled from my ceiling on fishing line. I looked down at the keys in my hand. Did I unlock the wrong apartment? I ran my free hand over my eyes to push out the sleep from my 2 AM convenience store shift. I wasn’t dreaming because I could still smell cigarette smoke and cold recycled air on my uniform.
Then with a start I realized I’d seen this before. The Magician had been on the news, or rather, the aftermath of his murders had been on the news. He had come for me.
The judge says: Gives me chills! I want to scream at her to run!

10 comments:

  1. Wow those are good!Congrats to everyone!Sierra
    Keep Growing Beautiful♥

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  2. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THESE!!! =D
    When's another prompt? *pant pant pant*

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  3. Wowwww! That first one was great -- I love hilarious-ness, and then I was just like, "Ooh. A gun." And that last one... creepy! They're great!

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  4. Looks like I wasn't the only one with murder story ideas lol!! I think my favorite one was when the wife comes into the bedroom and tells her husband that Frenchmen don't serenade their loves haha

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  5. Those were good - congratulations to all the winners!



    - Paige Taylor

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  6. They were all so awesome! I this one day I can write as well as that.

    P.S The baby is SO cute!
    I just want to give him a great bi hug!:)

    - Elisabeth Greenwood:)

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  7. Oh I meant ' I wish one day I can wright as well as that'
    :)
    - Elisabeth Greenwood

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  8. Tonya/Elisabeth, isn't he? We're big fans.

    Lol, Mirriam. August 1st is when the next one goes live :) Look forward to having you!

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