Are Your Actions and Reactions Logical?

Jill Williamson is a chocolate loving, daydreaming, creator of kingdoms. She writes weird books for teens in lots of weird genres like, fantasy (Blood of Kings trilogy), science fiction (Replication), and dystopian (The Safe Lands trilogy). Find Jill on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or on her author website.

On Tuesday I talked about making sure that your fiction happens in order. But there's more to it than simply having the actions and reactions in the right order. The human brain has a method of processing information. It’s important to get this order right so that your narrative feels logical to the reader. So when you write, make sure that your actions and reactions follow the same logical progression that the human brain uses.

1. First comes the senses: what you see, feel, hear, smell, taste. What your character notices or observes. So, when you're describing something, things like pain, temperature of the room or outdoors, a siren, a bright light. These things should come first.

2. This is followed by reflexes of action or emotion. What the human body does without thinking in reaction to those first observations in number 1. These are reactions that are out of the character's control. So, shutting eyes against a bright light, flinching or wincing at a loud noise, being afraid. Things like that.

3. Thought comes next. Inner thoughts based on the observations in number 1 that will lead to a decision in number 4.

4. Finally, action or speech in reaction to what's happened.

Keep in mind, you don't always have to include all four of these elements in every sequence of action. People don't always think: I'm going to speak out loud now. But the elements you do include should always happen in order.

Here's a scene from my book Captives that's written in a logical sequence of events, for the most part.

       Shaylinn opened her eyes to a bright white ceiling. She must be in heaven, because in Old movies, heaven was always white and glowing like this. But Papa Eli had said there would be no mourning or pain in heaven, and the ache in Shaylinn’s chest hinted at recent pain.
       “Hello?” she called, her voice barely a croak.
       She lay on a stiff and narrow bed. When she tried to sit, she found her arms were bound to the bed. Her heart tumbled within her. “Help! Someone help me!” The words resulted in nothing but a break in the silence around her.
       She lifted her head in hopes of getting some sort of bearings. A tall cupboard hung on the wall on her right. Down past her feet, a door stood without a handle or knob. To her left, a glowing blue sheet of glass covered the wall. The surface seemed to ripple with low light.
       Her cheek itched, and she turned her head to scratch it with her shoulder. That was when she realized she was wearing a thin white dress. Who would take her clothes? What was going on? “Hello? Is someone there? Please, help me!”

The above scene includes seven full sequences of logical action. I highlighted them so you could see how they are broken down. First, Shaylinn opens her eyes to the white ceiling (1), thinks (3), then speaks (4). The ache in her chest comes out of order, which is a mistake. It should have come in number 1. She notices where she is (1) and tries to sit (4). Then she notices that she's tied down (1), she feels fear (2), and she calls out (4). When no one answers (1), she lifts her head (4). Here I made another out-of-order mistake with her inner thoughts "in hopes of getting some sort of bearings (3)." This really should have come before she sat up. If I could still edit this book, I would have changed that to: "In hopes of getting some sort of bearings (3), she lifted her head (4)."

Then she notices her surroundings (1). She feels an itch (1), and scratches it (4). Then finally, she notices her clothing (1), wonders how that happened (3), then speaks again (4).

All this to say, write your stories this way. Try to give the reader information in this order. It feels right and natural. A little mistake here and there won't be the end of the world, but if you can train yourself to do this, it will start to come naturally and you'll be making it easy for readers to follow your narrative. And that's a very good thing.

Any questions?